How to Find the Right Partner? The Truth About Love and Relationships

In today’s world, more than 50% of couples experience at least one partner cheating. Even if they don’t, the spark fades, or the person we once trusted becomes unrecognizable. Why does this happen, and how can we truly find someone we can rely on?

The Real Question: Why Do You Need Someone?

We’ve been told that we must grow up, find a life partner, and stay with them forever—just like we’ve been conditioned to believe in the necessity of a stable job, a passion, and a home. But have you ever questioned why you need a partner in the first place?

Some might say, “It’s a natural need we have to fulfill.” But where does this belief come from? Society? Our biology? While it’s true that our bodies send signals—like hunger, thirst, or exhaustion—telling us when to eat, drink, or sleep, we don’t just consume anything. We assess quality first. We won’t eat from a dirty street, drink from a sewer, or sleep on train tracks. So why don’t we apply the same level of discernment when choosing a partner?

The Root of Relationship Failures

Most relationships fail due to two primary reasons:

1. You Don’t Truly Know Yourself

Before choosing a life partner, you need to understand yourself. What do you really want? What are your values, your goals, and your purpose?

You are complete in yourself and capable of everything imaginable in this world, yet you feel empty and look outside for things to complete us. This is because society has ingrained in us the idea that we need someone. Just like people once believed the world would end in 2012 because of mass hysteria, we buy into the illusion that love is essential to our happiness without questioning it.

You must first learn to love yourself—not by buying brands, looking good or accepting your unhealthy state as beauty, but through self-awareness and self-improvement. Only then will you appreciate your own journey and be able to offer genuine love to another person.

2. The False Idea of Love

Most people mistake love for attraction, attachment, or possession. But real love isn’t about owning someone or being owned.

Think of a yard sale: From a distance, you spot a diamond watch. You imagine yourself buying it at a bargain and selling it for a fortune. But when you examine it closely, you notice scratches and a broken mechanism. Still, the illusion remains—until you test the diamonds and realize they’re just glass. This happens because of a lack of knowledge, and the same illusion plays out in relationships.

When you first meet someone, they seem caring, loving, and giving. But remember—they are doing this because they need love from you, just as you need love from them. You both shine as brightly as possible, fulfilling each other’s emotional needs. But once real-life challenges begin, the illusion breaks.

The Secret to Finding the Right Partner

Instead of seeking someone to complete you, work on becoming a whole person yourself. Focus on self-improvement, and eventually, you will attract someone who is also growing and evolving.

The best relationships are not based on financial security, attraction, or dependency. They are built between two individuals who dislike the idea of being the same forever and nudge themselves and each other to improve and share their growth with the world. When this happens, there’s no need for prenups, trust issues, or location tracking—because love is no longer a transaction, but a shared journey.